I'd been living for 21 years on earth but still finding the purpose of life. Each day is a survival for me. Looking for the right words and for the right meaning to be alive. I'd been in a prison for so long. Since, the day that I was born, there is always someone who tells we what to do, and what choice will have to choose. Comparing me to others and telling me that you should be like this and like that.

Long time ago, I am this happy and cheerful girl ever since. But, what slaps me? and became this so dramatic person? I dunno? Maybe i'm just tired of it.
                    I'm tired listening and doing the things that someone else want. "do this, do that." Perhaps, the ultimate price for obedience is a loss of your wholeness and becoming someone else. Let me tell you a short story of my life that happened a while ago.
                    I told someone that I want to pursue a doctoral in veterinary medicine, I'm expecting for some support.......But, what did I just received? a laughed and a two words "edi wow". It really leaves an open wound to me. Maybe it's because it is someone you expected that will support you all throughout. It really hurts me inside and out.

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                     I am this girl who they expected me to be, someone they thought that was strong and independent but little do they know, I am just this small girl who needs someone, someone that will tell that being alive is a great thing, someone who will support me not just in the beginning but all throughout the years. We are all dependent no one is an island right? no one can live alone by themselves. Since at the very moment that we were born we were complex, dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs.
                    Let's see how this perilous pilgrimage of my ends. Gonna try to free myself out of this prison.

Today, tomorrow, and yesterday do not exist; everything that was, still is. Let's try to break this negativity I have right now with a positivity that everything will be alright at the right moment.