I don't know where to start and where will I end this.

I still remember everything about us,  everything that we built together,  every dreams that we had. I love you and i hated it so much.  you really don't deserved to be loved. 

........ 

You don't know about how much I suffer because of you,  because of how much I loved you.

 I still love you (I’m not gonna lie that I still think about you every day and I still have this moment when I think of you and cry). I was really happy back then,  when we were together but that attitude of yours made me think if is it worth it to be with you?  is it? 

you said that I am the best thing that ever happened to you.  But,  what happened?  I tested you if you can wait and court me again.  Nah,  you look for someone else you fucking liar.  I thought you love me more than anything else?  you chatted your fucking ex and what did you said?  everything that you did to her in the past was because of me?  oh no...  you liar!  its because of yourself!  you flirt 

maybe your were like that because

You know how much I  love you,  I choose you between our child and you, you you. what have you done?  you look for an abortion pills and recommended it to me?  you said if I did not do it you will stop your study?  what choice do I have?  you are a graduating student back then.  I fucking choose you because I love you more than anything else but you did not appreciate it. 

We made something together but why the heck are you scared to face your responsibility?  every love that I have turns into hatred but I don't know why i still long for your fucking presence. 

i have all of this regret because of you.  It keeps haunting ne,  drowning ne into the depth of despair. I left someone who truly love me just to be with you.  Someone who will do everything for me. 

I wish you nothing but despair. 

thank you for leaving me this scar,  this wound. 

maybe someday I will love someone without thinking all of this regret. 

Love, 

debhie